I used to make comments about how, without children, we weren't a "real" family. It didn't take long for my husband to firmly tell me that I was wrong. We were a family, he assured me, even if our family didn't look complete yet. Marc has supported me in so many ways throughout our marriage, but this nugget of wisdom is one of the most important lessons he has ever taught me.
Marc and I have been so lucky to be surrounded, all along, by our immediate families. The ones that raised us and shaped us in a million different ways. Over the years, my definition of family has evolved even beyond that traditional picture. I have learned to recognize family, not as something that requires genetic connection or a white picket fence and 2.5 children, but as something deeper.
As we enter 2019, we hold, for the first time in a long time, some positive news in our quest to grow our family. My heart is full of hope and just a little bit of fear. But it is also full of all of the love my many families have shown me throughout this journey. The tears and hugs and laughter shared with us from our own parents and siblings. The empathy and unbelievable shows of support from my sister. The puppy kisses and stolen cuddles from our pets. The generosity shown to us by Marc's basketball team, and their triumphs throughout this past year that were shared and celebrated. My work teammates, who have provided me with stability and understanding on many hormonal mornings. Our dear friends & vet family, who offer us company and laughter even during the lowest lows.
Yes, I am humbled to realize just how wide my family stretches. It still feels not quite complete. There are empty rooms upstairs waiting to be filled, and 4 embryos at our clinic that represent hope and possibility for the future. But I know that, no matter what happens next, our families will be there. All of them.
This Christmas, let us all remember to share our love and our time with all of our many families. The holidays are difficult for many - people who have lost family or who have been unable to find their own. May everyone who needs a family find one this season - even if it is not the one you expected.