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Pretending
I did something today that I almost never let myself do. I pretended. I intended to hike for Reed today, and settled on Dinosaur Ridge....
Samantha Gorenstein
Nov 10, 20233 min read
100 views
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Different Doesn't Mean Wrong
For the second month in a row, I missed my monthly hike for Reed. Twice now, I have found myself instead by his little brother's side in...
Samantha Gorenstein
Apr 23, 20234 min read
147 views
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Healthy
As I walked along the trail, I came to the edge of a large clearing. The ground was covered with small broken bits of branches, rubble...
Samantha Gorenstein
Nov 17, 20223 min read
145 views
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Holding Space
Whenever I hear about a public event for child loss, I jump on the opportunity to attend. These events give me a chance to do something...
Samantha Gorenstein
Aug 29, 20223 min read
189 views
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Missing Pieces
When I hike, I often find symbols in nature that help me process and make sense of what I am feeling in the moment. I scribble these...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jul 11, 20223 min read
175 views
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Mom Guilt
“What are you looking forward to this weekend?” This was the question my principal asked at our team meeting on Thursday, and I was...
Samantha Gorenstein
Nov 5, 20213 min read
424 views
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Comfort
The weather on my hikes so often matches how I feel. Last year was cold and gloomy, fresh snow on the ground. The air was harsh. We were...
Samantha Gorenstein
Sep 12, 20213 min read
161 views
1 comment
Pregnancy After Loss
I'm pregnant again. It surprised me how hesitant I was to share this news. I have always been very open about our journey to parenthood,...
Samantha Gorenstein
Aug 9, 20217 min read
471 views
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Change
Change is hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small change or a big one, change inevitably leaves me feeling unsettled and always seems to...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jul 6, 20215 min read
228 views
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Grief in Children's Literature
When I became a teacher, I had no idea how present grief is in the classroom. Over the years, I have had many conversations with students...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jun 17, 20214 min read
85 views
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What I Want You To Know
AND A simple word. A word often ignored. Through grief, I have learned the tremendous power this basic little word has. This word offers...
Samantha Gorenstein
Apr 20, 20213 min read
173 views
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A Snowy Afternoon
There are many aspects of life after infant loss that most people will never fully understand. Invisible little pangs triggered by things...
Samantha Gorenstein
Feb 26, 20213 min read
133 views
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Refilling the Well
Over the past year, I have gone to some breathtaking places. I have seen vistas that have left me laughing in awe and delight. I have...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jan 14, 20213 min read
71 views
1 comment
Reflections
I started 2020 shattered to my very core, unsure of who I was or how I would continue to get from one day to the next. Both literally and...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jan 1, 20214 min read
125 views
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Gratitude
One of the first things I learned about grief was the way it teaches us to hold contradicting feelings simultaneously. This was confusing...
Samantha Gorenstein
Nov 26, 20204 min read
179 views
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A Work in Progress
Usually when I hike, the jumbled thoughts within my head begin to smooth out and make sense. I find beauty in small things. I feel my...
Samantha Gorenstein
Oct 30, 20206 min read
83 views
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Sitting in Sadness
There are so many things we will never know about Reed. A million lost memories for us to grieve every day. We will perpetually wonder...
Samantha Gorenstein
Sep 21, 20206 min read
134 views
0 comments
If You Were Here...
Dear Reed, It’s rare anymore for me to feel certain about what any given day would look like if you were here. So much time has passed,...
Samantha Gorenstein
Sep 15, 20202 min read
57 views
1 comment
Learning from Jasper
Last week, I hiked to Jasper Lake outside Nederland. Hiking gives me a lot of time to think and process. This is particularly valuable...
Samantha Gorenstein
Aug 13, 20205 min read
194 views
1 comment
Forgettable Moments
In the comfort of our home, Marc and I are beginning to understand where Reed fits. How to take care of him and show our love for him...
Samantha Gorenstein
Jul 8, 20205 min read
191 views
0 comments
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