Learning from One Another

These are uncertain times. People go to sleep every night and genuinely do not know what the world will look like when they wake up. Things are changing rapidly and dramatically, and our brains cannot keep up.

I understand. I feel like I have an advantage - this is the reality Marc and I have been living in for three months. We've been shocked that the world around us has continued to turn when ours has stopped. Now, suddenly and unexpectedly, the world around us has also stopped. It is strangely easy for us to adjust to this.

Of course, this is not the case for most. With uncertainty and change comes fear. With fear comes anger. We all wish things were like they used to be...but they aren't. We must adjust to this new world, and hope these changes are only temporary.

One of the changes I know people will struggle with is school closures. Parents are finding themselves unexpectedly stuck at home with their children. These same parents are also anxious about the future of their family, and of the world at large. And I get it...children are difficult. It will be a challenge to be at home with your children all day, every day. To help them learn to navigate an online school format while trying to do your own work. Patience will be tested. Frustration will spike. You will wish your children would just go away for a few moments and give you some peace. And that's fair.

Just remember...no matter how obnoxious they are, or how stressed out you are...you love them. You are a parent, and you are doing your best to get through a scary, unexpected situation with grace. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your loved ones. Forgive. Love. There is a lot about the life we will all lead in the next few months that will test us. You will not cherish every moment. But I hope all those parents who have to and get to spend the next few weeks with their children find the bright spots in this scary, trying situation.

These challenges are different in my house. We are being tested in a very different way than most parents, and it is not easy. But I, too, am learning to cherish this additional time at home. I devote time every day to Reed - I journal, I look at his picture, I sit in his room and think about him. That time has been essential for me, and it's been harder to find since returning to work. Working from home will be a relief to me, allowing me to carve out time for Reed according to my own needs a little more than I am able to at school. It will also be extremely hard, because I know it is not only supposed to be Marc and I here at home. I had a virtual meeting yesterday with my team, for example. As we talked online, I looked at my baby's picture (always next to my computer), and I found myself thinking about how that meeting would have been different if he were here. I would have been holding him, showing him off, and we all would have paused in our work and talked about how adorable he is. But we didn't. Those reminders, the little glimpses of "what should have been" that happen throughout the day, will be more and more apparent as I work from home.

The fact is...things are different than they used to be. Different than they should have been. This is no longer true only for Marc and I, but for the entire world. It's jarring, and it's frightening. It's also a beautiful opportunity.

Over the next several weeks, children will learn a great deal just by watching their parents and seeing how they react. They will learn how to deal with disappointment. How to handle fear and anxiety. Whether they should put their own desires first, or the needs of an entire community. They will also learn how important it is to lean on each other as a family, how to support one another when everyone is stumbling and confused. Yes, they will learn so much from you, and many of those lessons will be ones you didn't intend to teach. But I can assure you...you will also learn from them. When our world was turned upside down, Marc and I learned so much. We reflect daily on the lessons we've learned from Reed, and we continue to work to be people our son would be proud of. I don't know what lessons your children will teach you, but if you open your eyes, they are there. They will surprise you.

Amidst the uncertainty and the frustration that is bound to arise...find love. Spend time with your children. Laugh with them. When you lose your patience with them, apologize. Cry with them. Listen to their fears, and let their childlike naivety wash over and calm you. Hold them tight. Open your eyes to the beautiful lessons they are teaching you. And remember that, no matter how difficult it gets, you love them. And love is always stronger than fear.